Name: Cassie, I answer to Cass as well.
Birthdate: June 2nd, 1990
Location: Southeastern Ohio; roughly an hour east of Columbus. I live on the outskirts of a small town located in a super conservative and economically poor area.
Occupation: My pre-existing case of Anxiety forced me to quit (the best paying and benefit providing job I’d ever had) in August 2016. From Aug 2016 - May 2017 I tried to get approved for Disability (SSI) assistance. Had to abandon that when the lawyer helping with my case informed me he didn't see me getting approved. So, back to the workforce I went. I was lucky to land a retail job just a few weeks later and I actually like working there. My dream is to be a film writer, producer, and director.
Sexual orientation: Well, definitely not straight. I grew up in a religious and sexually ignorant home. I was 21 and a college freshman before I had my realization. The television show ‘Glee’ had a lot to do with opening my eyes. I initially identified as bisexual, it changed over the years.
I’m not a lesbian, so I definitely don’t prefer to be called that, even though it seems like I am. My sexuality is multi-layered. Pansexuality is part of me in how I am drawn to personalities. As far as sexual attractions, I’m just calling myself queer for now. A friend of mine put it perfectly, “While you’ll probably make out with Captain America, it’s Black Widow who you’ll be going home with.” I’m just trying to find my soulmate, regardless of gender.
My mother is from the time when homosexuality was a punishable by law offense and considered a mental illness. She’s also a devout Christian. Given all of this, I am closeted from her, and by extension, my family. However, I’m not necessarily depressed over this or even worried about them finding out. I’m doing it more to protect them, mom especially. I don’t need to “Come Out” to satisfy something or relieve myself of a burden. I can be myself without them knowing.
I’ve been very unlucky in love. Online dating is really my only option to meet people and women are so damn picky. In general, I’m unappealing to 98% of the women (and men) I am attracted to. This makes trying to find someone extremely difficult. There are times I want to give up, but my basic human needs (companionship, love, sex, etc) make me keep trying.
I was involved in a long-distance relationship with a woman who was abusive and very mentally ill in early 2017. I'm still trying my best daily to move on from her and undo the mess she made.
Mental Health: I have my ups and downs. I am recovering from a serious case of Major Depression that affected my life for over 10 years. This is much better than it was, but now Anxiety is taking center stage.
2016 was the year for my Anxiety to just spring up and screw me over. Anxiety runs in my family and so it’s part of my wiring. It’s one day at a time and I need people who are patient and understanding enough to respect what I am going through and grasp how this will always be a part of me.
Religion: Was raised as a conservative, non-denominational Christian. My personal theology is that God, Redemption, and Love are universal across all religions and ways of believing. I’m in no way traditionally religious, but I am spiritual. When I talk about God/The Universe, I’m usually trying to figure out why He has done something or thanking Him.
I have what I call Blind Faith. I don’t pray (or worry) excessively over things like my childhood religion taught. I trust God to just take care of it. I put feelers out and if they work, great. If they don’t, that’s okay. I’ve always been taken care of. Blind Faith has yet to fail me.
The word and concept of Faith is a big part of me. Feel my username indicates that.
Hobbies/Fandoms: Writing fanfic (mostly femslash), taking care of my cat, knitting, playing The Sims, trying to keep my cactus alive, and fangirling.
For me, fandoms and the shows/movies I watch are totally different things. There are only three fandoms I’m currently active in; Girl Meets World, Supernatural, and the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
I’m a fan of/watch about a dozen or so TV shows (and movies) such as Game of Thrones, The Big Bang Theory, Glee, Nashville, Law & Order: SVU (I watch the new episodes and reruns), The Blacklist, Orange is The New Black, How To Get Away With Murder, Agents of Shield, Agent Carter, Supergirl, Jane The Virgin, and reruns of Reba, The Golden Girls, Raising Hope, The Middle, and Modern Family. The list could go on, but I think this gives you a good idea of my interests. Also, I am behind on 95% of these shows, so no spoilers, please.
Recurring Characters: Going to list and give brief descriptions of the people I often talk about around here.
Mom: My hero. We have a complicated relationship. I’m the baby, still living at home, and her only daughter, so I get a lot of unnecessary attention. She always means well, but sometimes it’s too much. She’s a Type A, while I am not. We clash a lot. She depends too much on me and I often snap. She’s not all bad. I have her unwavering support and love throughout everything. I’d be lost without her. She’s my greatest ally, but can also be my biggest enemy. Like I said, complicated.
Maddie: The sunshine of my life! She’s my 5-year-old tabby/Maine coon mix and she is my daughter. I’m mommy to her and love it. She’s my light in the darkness. We adopted her for my 25th birthday after our last cat suddenly passed away. She’s a rescue who we love and spoil the heck out of.
Siblings: I am the youngest of six… I have five older half-siblings. My mom had two sons and my father had three kids (two daughters and one son) prior to my arrival. My father and mom divorced when I was five months old and he chose to not be involved in my life. This has never been an issue with me and he was a horrible man, so definitely not a loss.
Craig: Eldest brother and my mom’s first. He’s 45+ and married to Heather, 40+. They are the parents to my niece Mackenzie (13) and my nephew Nathan (9). Short description, he’s a temperamental asshat. He and the wife have their priorities all screwed up in regards to their kids. He’s super tight with money and hardly ever offers help of any kind. Mom watches Kenzie and Nathan for them throughout the week. He looks at me as if I leech off our mother and will always be a teet-sucking layabout. While he’s never said anything to me, he’s not that kind of person, I do know he has to be thinking it.
Adam: Second oldest brother and mom’s second. He’s 40+ and married to Jennifer, 45+. They are childless and I thank God for that. Adam and I both suffer from anxiety, so we have a bit of a mutual understanding. I do not like Jennifer and avoid interacting with her. She likes to tease and harassing me as if I were still a child. She’s also very nosey. She’ll often inquire about my dating life or make some other type of personal intrusion. She and Adam are the opposite of my eldest brother. They’re often willing to help, but of course, it’s not enough to satisfy my mom. He doesn’t care where I live or what I’m doing with my life.
Rhiannon: My eldest sister and my father’s first. She’s 35+ and married to second husband Steve (for now). Our dad supposedly denied her as his in open court. I did not know she existed until 2013 when she reached out to me via Facebook after a mutual friend pointed her to me. I do not like my sister and she often irritates me. She had my nephew Brennan (20+) as a teenager and it really didn’t make her grow up. We tried to have a relationship upon meeting, but she never made me a priority and I stopped trying. She acts like my best friend on Facebook, but won’t actually talk to me. It can be really annoying at times. In 2015, my sister got pregnant and married Steve in a shotgun ceremony… just 41 days after they began dating. A few months later she miscarried, but they remained married. Then in 2016, I came to find out my sister was The Other Woman. Steve had been married to a beautiful woman for 20+ years and left her for my sister… it’s ridiculous. Funnily, Rhiannon and I look a lot alike, but in no way act alike… oh, irony. Brennan, her son, has a son and daughter. So, I’m a great-aunt. I don’t have a relationship with Brennan, but kinda wish I did.
Libby: My second eldest sister and father’s second; she has a different mom than Rhiannon. She’s 30+ and has at least 5 kids, I’m not sure exactly. We have a strictly Facebook based relationship and discovered each other due to Rhiannon. She lived in Columbus when we first connected but then moved down to somewhere in the Carolinas. She and our brother ended up in foster care due to our father’s neglect (post divorcing my mom). She’s had a rough life.
John: My third eldest brother and father’s third. He’s 25+ and that’s about all I know. He and Libby grew up in foster care. He and Libby have the same mother. Wish I knew more.
Additional info on siblings: I had a friend, who I don’t know if she was just sheltered or super ignorant, think that having a nephew (Brennan) so close in age to me was “Cool!” It’s really not. My family situation is really screwed up. I grew up with my mom’s sons (Craig and Adam) and had no contact with my father’s children until 2013. No, there’s nothing cool or really anything super good about the situation.
Kristin: My counselor since 2012. For obvious reasons, she’s often a topic.
Dr. Sharma: My psychologist since 2013. He’s the one who gives me drugs to keep my mind at bay.
Krystal: My best friend since 2012. We met here on LJ through a Glee challenge community. She’s one of my favorite people and among the most important. She’s married to Ben and they live a couple hours northeast of me. We see each other as often as we can despite the distance. She was the friend I spent many nights praying for and I am so blessed we found each other. ltlredhairdgirl
Kristi: We met in 2007 when I (was forced to) entered real school after being homeschooled. She’s my greatest adversary, yet one of my biggest supporters. We often butt heads and have more than once abused and taken our friendship for granted. Our relationship is not perfect by any means, yet we can’t help but love each other. She’s the Sophia to my Blanche and we’ve come to accept that we’ll be stuck together for life.
David: He is the foster son/step nephew of our neighbor and her husband. In 2014, when he was just 7 months old, mom started babysitting him. Mom’s grandma to him and I’m Aunt Cassie. He’s loved and spoiled by everyone. He currently wears braces on his legs due to a possible case of Cerebral Palsy.
Tidbits: In November 2002, my grandma died of cancer. In March 2013, my aunt Judy died of lymphoma.
*will add more if I think of it*